Maybe you've tried talking through these struggles many times with the intention of getting back on track, but it ends in further frustration, shutting down, or hurtful words that leave you both feeling more disconnected than before. Maybe one of you is desperately seeking reassurance and connection, while the other feels overwhelmed and shuts down, therefore creating a painful cycle where both people's deepest needs go unmet.

So many couples who walk into my office share these exact thoughts; they're feeling disconnected, yet they deeply love their partner and desperately want to make it work. Between hustle culture, Colorado's active lifestyle, demanding careers, family responsibilities, and the endless pull of daily life, it's no wonder couples find themselves struggling to stay emotionally connected. These pressures can add stress and cause cycles to escalate quickly.

The patterns you're caught in — what we call "negative cycles" in EFT couples therapy — happen when our deepest attachment needs feel threatened. As humans, we're neurobiologically wired for connection from birth. It's not just a nice-to-have; it's essential to our sense of safety and well-being. So when conflict arises and our most precious relationship feels at risk, our nervous system sounds the alarm, and we instinctively respond to protect ourselves. These cycles can look like one partner reaching desperately for connection while the other pulls away seeking relief from the intensity, or both partners becoming defensive and critical when feeling misunderstood.

Emotionally Focused Therapy creates effective, lasting change

The encouraging news is, with the right approach, couples can break free from these painful patterns and rediscover the deep emotional connection they're craving.

There aren't many well-researched couples therapy modalities out there, but Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is one of them. It's a highly effective, evidence-based approach specifically designed to help couples create not temporary fixes, but lasting change in their relationships.

What to Expect in EFT Couples Therapy Sessions

First, we’ll work together to identify the negative cycle that has trapped your relationship. You'll learn to recognize your own and your partner's triggers that set off the cycle, and how you react to cope with those triggers.

Then, we'll discover the vulnerable emotions and unmet needs beneath the surface behaviors that have been causing pain. When partners can express their deepest fears and longings from a place of vulnerability rather than criticism or withdrawal, profound healing becomes possible.

A Safe Space for Both of You

I don't pick sides. I hold both of your experiences and take into consideration your history in how it is shaping your reactions, needs, and longings. As we slow down those rapid-fire interactions, I’ll help you both express what you're really feeling underneath the rising temperature. Through gentle guidance and proven EFT techniques, the couples I work with have learned to comfort each other's emotional injuries and develop new patterns of connection that have helped them rediscover their sense of security.